5 months - back to work
hana started daycare this week (i call it "school" - seems better to me somehow) because i have returned to work. i must admit that the build up to the return to work was way, WAY worse than the actual return. i'd feared that i would have an "ugly cry"-style break down as i left the house on monday. but none of that really happened. monday morning we were all so rushed that it didn't really sink in until i was sitting in traffic. and even then i was just a little pouty and moist 
in the eye... fortunately, i had already scheduled the starbucks run with friends so they helped ease the re-entry.
as many of you know, hana is going to school at the daycare center in jon's office, in hayward, CA. jon and i both work for the county and even though i am not stationed in that office, i am there a couple of times a week(usually bothering jon during my down time -- me: "whatcha' doooin?" jon: "work". i'm sure he's glad i have someone else to bother now). since jon will be taking her into daycare everyday, i was spared the actual hand-off of hana to someone else for the day. that was a big tear saver. i think the handoff is the most traumatic part for women. men seem hard-wired to not have an emotional reaction to leaving a child to go to work (or, as it turns out, collecting details about the baby's day).
once i got to work, my boss was thoughful enough to not schedule me for anything so that i would have a chance to settle in again (and in case i didn't come back). in fact, she didn't tell anyone else i was coming back either so that i would'nt be scheduled without her knoweldge. that was really helpful. but while i was sifting through my 1300+ emails that accumulated during my absence, i kept thinking about how i used to check email while at was at home with hana on my lap. and then i starting missing her and it made me only want to do those work tasks that i can't do with hana with me. so i volunteered for a meeting, in the hayward office of course. so on my first day back to work,i not only got to dust off the cobwebs of my facilitation skills, i got go hold hana and feed her and then pick her up from school (since i was done before jon) and take her home. in fact this week, i worked out of that office on 3 days. on thursday, i never even had to pump because i was able to just go and feed her everytime.! i even got to put her down for her nap once this week. it's really the best of both worlds. i really like what i do (facilitating meetings with families, community service providers and staff) and i got spend time with hana.
the only time i really felt sad this week was friday night. after all week of being able to spend time with her, friday, i didn't see her at all after i left the house in the morning. and when i arrived home that evening, jon and hana were'nt there yet. so the house was empty (save for the cats who naturally, couldn't care less) and that was a surpirsingly big bummer. i suppose in the future, i will look forward to an empty house, but i'm not there yet.
hana has taken to daycare very well although it has been an adjustment. she ate plenty but not her usual thanksgiving-sized feedings for the first few days. i guess she was thinking "this bottle is fine but i'll hold out until mommy comes". the daycare staff didn't really seem to notice the dip. and who would? not many babies (or toddlers for that matter) pack it away like hana can. when i did come, sometimes the daycare people would say, she's not hungry because she'd eaten an hour ago, and meanwhile hana's unbuttoning my blouse and nuzzling in for a meal (they usually reply with "...oh."). but by friday, i think she showed them how much she can really eat (she ate 30 oz at daycare alone, in addition to the big morning feeding before work and the 2 feedings before bed totalling about another 22 oz - that's my girl).
in order to get her used to the idea of the daycare, we did a little transition. i went with her for about an hour one day last week. and then on the friday jon took her in the morning (like a dress rehearsal for the new morning routine) and i picked her up mid da
y. she was there for 5 hours and slept for 3 of them. the daycare people found this surprising after i'd explained to them that she doesn't nap very much during the day because of her desire to socialize. i'm sure the teacher was thinking that i just wasn't trying hard enough after the 3 hour nap she had last friday. but come monday, she only took two 30 minute naps, and the rest of the week followed with several "snaps" (short naps). she didn't seem over tired or fussy. she just really likes the other kids and doesn't want to miss anything. so my little snapper showed them that the honeymoon is over, especially because she was teething a lot this week. nevertheless, she seems comforatable and has a good time there and the staff there love her.
overall, we are all still adjusting but i think it's going well. next week, i may be a snivelling idiot, we'll just have to wait and see.
in the eye... fortunately, i had already scheduled the starbucks run with friends so they helped ease the re-entry.as many of you know, hana is going to school at the daycare center in jon's office, in hayward, CA. jon and i both work for the county and even though i am not stationed in that office, i am there a couple of times a week(usually bothering jon during my down time -- me: "whatcha' doooin?" jon: "work". i'm sure he's glad i have someone else to bother now). since jon will be taking her into daycare everyday, i was spared the actual hand-off of hana to someone else for the day. that was a big tear saver. i think the handoff is the most traumatic part for women. men seem hard-wired to not have an emotional reaction to leaving a child to go to work (or, as it turns out, collecting details about the baby's day).
once i got to work, my boss was thoughful enough to not schedule me for anything so that i would have a chance to settle in again (and in case i didn't come back). in fact, she didn't tell anyone else i was coming back either so that i would'nt be scheduled without her knoweldge. that was really helpful. but while i was sifting through my 1300+ emails that accumulated during my absence, i kept thinking about how i used to check email while at was at home with hana on my lap. and then i starting missing her and it made me only want to do those work tasks that i can't do with hana with me. so i volunteered for a meeting, in the hayward office of course. so on my first day back to work,i not only got to dust off the cobwebs of my facilitation skills, i got go hold hana and feed her and then pick her up from school (since i was done before jon) and take her home. in fact this week, i worked out of that office on 3 days. on thursday, i never even had to pump because i was able to just go and feed her everytime.! i even got to put her down for her nap once this week. it's really the best of both worlds. i really like what i do (facilitating meetings with families, community service providers and staff) and i got spend time with hana.
the only time i really felt sad this week was friday night. after all week of being able to spend time with her, friday, i didn't see her at all after i left the house in the morning. and when i arrived home that evening, jon and hana were'nt there yet. so the house was empty (save for the cats who naturally, couldn't care less) and that was a surpirsingly big bummer. i suppose in the future, i will look forward to an empty house, but i'm not there yet.
hana has taken to daycare very well although it has been an adjustment. she ate plenty but not her usual thanksgiving-sized feedings for the first few days. i guess she was thinking "this bottle is fine but i'll hold out until mommy comes". the daycare staff didn't really seem to notice the dip. and who would? not many babies (or toddlers for that matter) pack it away like hana can. when i did come, sometimes the daycare people would say, she's not hungry because she'd eaten an hour ago, and meanwhile hana's unbuttoning my blouse and nuzzling in for a meal (they usually reply with "...oh."). but by friday, i think she showed them how much she can really eat (she ate 30 oz at daycare alone, in addition to the big morning feeding before work and the 2 feedings before bed totalling about another 22 oz - that's my girl).
in order to get her used to the idea of the daycare, we did a little transition. i went with her for about an hour one day last week. and then on the friday jon took her in the morning (like a dress rehearsal for the new morning routine) and i picked her up mid da
y. she was there for 5 hours and slept for 3 of them. the daycare people found this surprising after i'd explained to them that she doesn't nap very much during the day because of her desire to socialize. i'm sure the teacher was thinking that i just wasn't trying hard enough after the 3 hour nap she had last friday. but come monday, she only took two 30 minute naps, and the rest of the week followed with several "snaps" (short naps). she didn't seem over tired or fussy. she just really likes the other kids and doesn't want to miss anything. so my little snapper showed them that the honeymoon is over, especially because she was teething a lot this week. nevertheless, she seems comforatable and has a good time there and the staff there love her.overall, we are all still adjusting but i think it's going well. next week, i may be a snivelling idiot, we'll just have to wait and see.
posted by brittany @ 7:04 AM
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